“The Ride” by Rodolphe Guenoden
HOLD THE FUCK UP
WHAT THE HOLY FUCK I’M OUT
Woodcut from tonight as a gift for a friend. We like to listen to Andrew Jackson Jihad a lot when we work on these so it seemed fitting.
I live off sarcasm, sexual frustration, punk rock and cheese
The full harmonic duet of Katy Perry and Jontron singing Firework.
I’m so so bored of predictable, tame uninspiring Oscars hosts. Who are we gonna get next year? Another turn for Ellen, Billy Crystal, Whoopi? Yawny McYawnington. Why have one host when you could have ALL OF THE MUPPETS?
Do I even gots to ‘splain to you why this is a good idea, ok?
STATLER & WALDORF SITTING IN THE AUDIENCE TAKING THE PISS OUT OF EVERYTHING
EVERYTHING GOING WRONG BACKSTAGE
And before you say that it would’t be possible The Muppets have peformed live shows before.
They’re the perfect halfway house between something ‘edgy’ like Seth McFarlane and something as beige as Billy Crystal. Nostalgic, hilarious and fun. There’s already a facebook page for it which started when Eddie Murphy quit as host in 2012 that has about 30k likes - https://www.facebook.com/MuppetOscars
Let’s make this happen folks.
This only has 109 notes. WTF people, get on it!
I am more down with this than the force of gravity itself
Even if you aren’t 100% behind this awesome idea, let’s face it: it can’t be any worse than when Seth Macfarlane hosted the Oscars
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
I fell on over I fell right in you caught my ankle with your shin and I went tumbling into the rubble for which we had never found a name
I grabbed you by your pride and pulled you towards me there we lay in sin
you left me mourning what never lived I left you wondering what it meant when I told you that I am so fucking in love with all of my fucking friends
it almost kills me just to think about how everything will end
well I’m a loner I’ll never win I am a story that I made up and I can’t rewrite the parts that happened little plots repeating on and on
I’m not a broken record but an unsent mixtape for a friend
so call me crazy I’m not that mean I know I’m angry in a way that grows and spins out of my control till I’m throwing rocks at nothing in the mist
I just kept throwing rocks at those who hurt me every time I missed
so call me girl then I know I’m more oh call me baby sweetie honey darlin call me what you will I know I’ll stomp those expectations without thought
there’s not a fragment of desire in me to live inside a box
so hurt my feelings I’ll hurt yours more I’m done with letting passion for a person ever hold my heart in suspense hoping that they’ll be just what I want
I am complete in myself with my flaws no one can call me theirs
oh no I won’t take that role I won’t take that role
no I can’t try no more can’t try no more